Last week, I was finally able to slow down, take a day off of work and head to the city that never sleeps. Which, upon further thought, was not the wisest winding down option. Regardless, I had friends in New York I wanted to visit and a major decision on the horizon.
Press Play: “Can’t Pin Me Down” by Marina + The Diamonds
Do you really want me to write a feminist anthem?
Three nights, two days, a perpetual hangover, and multiple inexplicable bruises later, I was ready to make a commitment.
Lately, I’ve been embracing the timing of life–an arduous task for the strong-willed girl who hates losing control. Is perpetual dissatisfaction human nature? Because if we ran a study with myself as the subject, this would seem likely. Most of my life, things have been handed to me. Yes, my childhood dealt me some grim cards, but I played them well and fear of not being great replaced my fear of failure. I just can’t shake the feeling that I must do better, on purpose. With action rather than inertia.
I am happy. Quite so. Although unsettling at times, opportunities arise with seemingly wrong timing. I’m just learning that part of living life actively is making tough choices. And long flights, apparently.
Returning home reminded me that I ultimately want to stay in Los Angeles and it remains my favorite city in the world. So why not leap? It’s only two years.