She’s a five year old rescue cat from a SoHo cat cafe we’ve named Fitzgerald, so she + Red are pretty much interchangeable.
More things happened since I last blogged:
Giants visited us
We celebrated Lexi’s favorite holiday
We celebrated Red’s birthday with a ferry ride + brunch
And I wrapped up my first year of graduate school! I’ve made a list of places to check out before my summer internship starts but NYC weather is uncooperative. Cue in the smallest violin playing the world’s saddest song.
Yesterday was the last official day of lecture for Autumn ’15, culminating a semester of 211 lecture hours, 6 studios, 18 modules, 10 labs, 15 discussion sessions, 144 classes, 40 professors, 135 TA’s, 48 exams, quizzes, papers, and assignments. Living the dream–can you tell?
Seeing that numerical breakdown is strange because I have not yet felt overwhelmed by school. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I do half of my work from a bed (mine or keg’s) or that New York’s weather has been kind to my Los Angeles bones. (In fact, today it was warmer in NYC than LA…joke was still on me, though, as I did not expect rain and got caught in downtown drizzle.)
Though the days are beautiful and sunny, the downside is Christmas is around the corner and New York does not seem as Christmas-y as I hoped. I will be utilizing this weekend to get into the holiday spirit, which may be a challenge given finals AKA Nightmare Before Christmas.
I’ve been hesitant to blog because I’ve been more cynical than usual lately and I’m contemptuous on the reg, so that’s really saying something. (See: climate change, terrorism, bacon now a level 1 carcinogen, etc.)
They say the city changes you but yesterday marked the end of my third month in New York and, thus far, it’s only made me be more true to myself. I’m learning about behaviors that bother me while reinforcing my boundaries. For example, if we’re meeting for the first time and you hug me, I do not think you’re outgoing–I think you’re strange. Similarly, I despise being pressured once I’ve made up my mind. I’m not sorry. In a city as restless as NYC, pretending I’m okay with being uncomfortable is inefficient. On the other hand, New York has also reminded me to appreciate what makes me happy and to be grateful for All The Wonderful People in my corner.
One of these is my roommate Alexis. Knowing I was upset about missing my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving), she called her mom and grandmother for recipes. We baked pumpkin pie and made dressing AKA the tgivz essentials.
Our holiday break continued as we cheered for our respective college football teams and made a trip to Brooklyn.
I want to like BK, I really do. But until I move downtown, I don’t think the relationship can be sustainable. We checked out Gather and were underwhelmed.
We’ve done quite a bit of decorating. New additions include an Anderson Cooper + doughnut shrine on our fridge and a picture of RBG from the Chanel “Super Women” campaign. Above is a picture of my wall. I purchased the Bill Clinton/JFK picture after a boozy lab session at school and wrote “Something else they had in common: Interns” behind it. Typical.
In other news, my role as Dad in our little MeUnger family upholds as I continue to love people from a distance.
December is in full swing, which means advent calendar, tree lighting ceremonies, and christmas music. Bet u didnt know I was this basic~
Someone recently asked me, “Do men find you intimidating?”
Being back on the school grind after a two-year hiatus required I polish my skimming skills. This semester sets the foundation for my degree, meaning classes range from technical skills (epidemiology, biostatistics, etc.) to broader issues (health systems & policy, program planning & evaluation, global health). I’m in school every day; which is essentially everything I stand against. (You may read about that here, where I talk about the ideal undergrad class schedule to capitalize on time spent intoxicated/curing a hangover.) Thank God the subject interests me. I don’t understand how people can go into academia when they don’t love the field.
Press Play: Hudson by Vampire Weekend
I’ve deliberated with myself (do I need a therapist?), asking if I should state the name of my school. Decided against it–possibly as a reaction to the fear of sharing too much of myself online. Though, the more realistic reason is that I’m half-assing my way through graduate school & I’d like to keep that on the DL. Also, this blog’s three followers should already know where I’m enrolled (Hi, mom).
Most of my classes are on the medical campus–admittedly, a less glamorous setting than the stone + grass of the main campus. But it’s bustling with doctors, students, & ER-bound ambulances. Located so far uptown I sometimes wonder if I’m still in Manhattan, the school services surrounding neighborhoods in need. As to my peers? Some of them are really intense & others are more my speed. This is evident during amphitheater lectures, where the people at the front shout questions & ferociously type every single word the professor utters. Laptop users in the middle or the back alternate between note-taking & Facebooking. Amidst the patter of laptop keys, others opt for handwritten notes. I fall somewhere in between, depending on the class & my level of caffeination.
I’m quickly learning public health in the United States & abroad is marked by a very shady past of unethical research & human rights violations. The best option, now, is to learn from it & honor our oath as a public health practitioners.
Moving to a new city means meeting new people. Thus, I’m occasionally caught in unwanted small-talk. During one of these chats, I mentioned I am earning a masters in public health. I forget how polarizing health issues can be, mostly because I assume everyone agrees humans have a right to healthcare. I found myself in the middle of a conversation about universal health coverage where this stranger opined the government should have no role in healthcare. Here, I abandoned my passive role. Government has & should continue to play a role in healthcare, I explained. See: Medicare &/or Veterans Health Administration System. Then, he asked if men found me intimidating.
Prancing around New York at my 5’4” stance, my initial answer is, “No.” However, because simply challenging a man’s beliefs raised this question…I’m learning the appropriate answer is, “Yes, I can be intimidating; but perhaps, not to a real man.”
Overall, life is weird here & everyone is chatty. I spend half of my week uptown & the rest of it downtown. A stark contrast, but I’m okay with it. I enjoy looking out at the Hudson from my classroom window as much as I enjoy strolling along Houston St. with my roommates or sipping a morning cappuccino with a non-coffee drinker in the East Village.
Last week, Jess + Joel came into town. There’s something soothing about familiar faces (we’ve known each other for a decade) in a new city. Unfortunately, Hurricane Joaquin’s itinerary overlapped with theirs & they went through three umbrellas in one day.
They stayed in the Lower East Side (is Childish Gambino in your head right now?) so we joined them on Friday.
Some time after pissing people off & purchasing pizza, we went back to their place & discovered Madison AKA Alexis is really Robin from How I Met Your Mother.
Onward. Somehow, I convinced Red + Lex that a Los Angeles poster would benefit our common area. I’m not mad.
I don’t actually have many updates this time around. Mostly looking for excuses to avoid all the assignments I have due this week & I’ve already taken a procrastination nap.
Today marks the start of my fifth week living in Manhattan. I never aspired to live in New York; had it not been for graduate school, I would’ve never moved.
My roommates (Lexi + Red) are also West Coast girls; they’re from the pacific northwest. Quickly, we’ve learned East Coasters can pin us as West Coasters based on our complaints about humidity & disdain towards Dunkin’ Donuts (also my use of ‘dude’ & Lex’s accent). They’re both very bright, sweet, & inspirational. Quite different from me, which I love. They teach me about things like fashion & art–subjects my biology & political science background seemingly dismissed.
I was hoping to have completed my nesting period by now, but my room is still a work in progress.
Last weekend, I flew home for 12 hours for my grandmother’s funeral. Being back home felt foreign, almost. The trip was so short, I had no time to experience my favorite things about Los Angeles (beaches + In N Out). When I landed in JFK this time, I was no longer nostalgic for Los Angeles. It was like I was coming home. To New York.
New York, where my things are.
New York, where people expect you to walk if anything is closer than one mile.
New York, where riding the subway disconnects you from the real world & nobody can reach you there.
All the things that once annoyed me but I now find therapeutic.
Is this what people meant when they said I would fall in love with this city? Does this also mean I will want to leave it as soon as the honeymoon phase is over & I’ve lost interest? I don’t know the answer to that yet, but I do know I need to go back to Los Angeles at some point because no one could love me the way Nancy Rose does after knowing me the way she does. (She’s also the only person who thinks I’m funny.)
Last week, I was finally able to slow down, take a day off of work and head to the city that never sleeps. Which, upon further thought, was not the wisest winding down option. Regardless, I had friends in New York I wanted to visit and a major decision on the horizon.
Press Play: “Can’t Pin Me Down” by Marina + The Diamonds
Do you really want me to write a feminist anthem?
Three nights, two days, a perpetual hangover, and multiple inexplicable bruises later, I was ready to make a commitment.
Lately, I’ve been embracing the timing of life–an arduous task for the strong-willed girl who hates losing control. Is perpetual dissatisfaction human nature? Because if we ran a study with myself as the subject, this would seem likely. Most of my life, things have been handed to me. Yes, my childhood dealt me some grim cards, but I played them well and fear of not being great replaced my fear of failure. I just can’t shake the feeling that I must do better, on purpose. With action rather than inertia.
I am happy. Quite so. Although unsettling at times, opportunities arise with seemingly wrong timing. I’m just learning that part of living life actively is making tough choices. And long flights, apparently.
Returning home reminded me that I ultimately want to stay in Los Angeles and it remains my favorite city in the world. So why not leap? It’s only two years.